Now in days becoming a parent means taking criticism from everyone, and hey I’ll be the first to admit that it’s hard not to criticize because we, as parents, really believe that we are doing the best job. Who’s to say we’re not though? We all want the best for our babies that’s for sure. But we have to remember that my best and someone else’s best doesn’t always mean the same, and that’s ok too.
With that being said, my views on parenting might not sound like everyone’s ideal, plus I’m still learning myself, so I try not to be so harsh on myself if I happen to lose it every now and then.
When I was pregnant, I had all these expectations on how I wanted to parent Brielle, but all those expectations went flying out the window that first night in the hospital with her. Heck! Even before that, seeing how my birth plan also didn’t go as I hoped for.
One of those parenting choices was not letting her sleep in bed with me, but where is she now while I type this? Yup, right next to me underneath my arm as cozy as can be. lol! I honestly worried a lot about co sleeping, and I’ll admit I still do at times because I hear all these things about how I’ll never get her out of my bed again and blah blah blah… Then there was the struggle with bottle feeding, oh yeah that never happened. Brielle is strictly breastfed. She never took a bottle, not with me, not with anyone else, not with formula, nor with my breast milk. Strictly breastfed. Oh! Let’s not forget about having her, “enbrazilada,” (yup, that’s Spanish.) Meaning, don’t hold her too much because then that’s all she’ll want: to be held.
But what’s so wrong with all these things? Nothing, that’s what. Absolutely nothing. It took me a while to realize this of course…but now I’m happy that I did. Having a c-section is actually the main reason why I had all these expectations falter in the first place because I was very limited to do much moving the first few weeks home with her, so instead of having to get up every hour or so to pick her up from her crib, (which I couldn’t do, unless I wanted to hurt myself,) I decided that co sleeping would be easier in my circumstances. My plan was always to breastfeed, but with the occasional bottle, so that she wouldn’t get so attached to me. Obviously Brielle spent almost all day in my arms because once everyone went back to work after the first week back from the hospital, it was just easier for me to have her close.
Turns out, I actually enjoy co sleeping a whole lot more. One night I actually got her to sleep in her crib, and did I actually get a better night rest? Hell no. I couldn’t sleep at all or get comfortable. I kept getting up to check if she was still breathing. I was paranoid all night, I think I only slept three hours that entire night. Haha! And so what if she doesn’t like bottles! That just means I don’t have to waste room in my diaper bag for bottles or bags of stored milk. I can just feed her anywhere on demand, how convenient for me! And what’s so wrong with holding your baby and carrying her? Sure, it may make things a little harder to get done, but thank god for baby wearing! Seriously, I swear by it. I got things done around the house, while keeping Brielle happy and close. I don’t like to leave her crying, especially if all I have to do is hold her to get her to stop. I think we forget that crying is a baby’s way of communicating with us, and letting them, “cry it out,” isn’t actually helping them.
They’re not going to be little forever, and they’ll eventually outgrow all things that makes them dependent on us. So yeah, carry your baby and cuddle them all day and night if you have to, you’ll miss it someday. And stop being so hard on yourself for what other people have to say. Whatever works for you, works. It’s okay to give in to your baby because you can never give them too much love. Anyway, that’s what I’ve picked up on so far with Brielle.
Basically my point to this post is to take it easy. Parenting is already a lot of pressure on its own, why add on to the drama. Who cares if your baby sleeps in her own crib in a different room or uses you as her mattress, who cares if you formula feed or breastfeed, just feed the babe! And don’t let anyone tell you that you hold your baby too much because that’s just stupid.